Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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