Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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