I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
