I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
