I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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