I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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