dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
