glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
