Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
