So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
