i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
