she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
