matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
