I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
