I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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