Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
