well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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