Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
