Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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