I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
