Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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