But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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