oh god the rape fog is back!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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