I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
