dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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