remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
