did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
