tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
