thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
