NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
