Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I need to calm my uterus...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
