Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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