apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
