I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
