my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
