she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
