I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
