he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize