i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
