i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
