I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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