Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
