is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
