if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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