Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize