Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
