What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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