"it" just moved
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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