Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
