I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
