remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
