I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
