her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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