Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
