I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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