apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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