I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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