we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
