1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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