the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i will never coherently bang her
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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