Girls should come with a carfax report
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
